Where Do I Send My Dues?

So, who is the official president here? Do we have weekly or monthly meetings? Just wondering. Now that I am an official member.

Yes, I have them. It all happened so suddenly. I didn't even send in an application.

Stretch marks. So don't say 'join the club.' Okay? I'm already in.

Baby Update

Week number 19 with the kiddos is here. My odd weeks is when I visit the doctor and get to see pictures of all their little body parts and see them kicking like crazy. Talk about movers! I can't believe I don't feel them more often than I do. My ultrasound tech thinks it's because all three placentas (Okay, I just crossed that line. I'm now the pregnant lady who gives out too much information. No one likes to think about someone else's placentas. Seriously. Sorry. Can't go back now.) are in the front. Lots of padding to refract their tiny little kicks.

So, everyone is doing absolutely wonderful! Which brings me to my overdue thanks. I'm not a big fan of the universal show of gratitude via the blog world, but my heart is completely overflowing with gratitude. If I don't share it, there might be a serious build up, flood, disaster, something.

So, thank you. Thank you to everyone who has ever told us congratulations or thought about the health of our little babies or told us they are praying for our family. It is overwhelming to think about all the prayers and blessing being sent our way to make sure our babies are healthy. We feel them. I know our babies feel them.

'Thank you' seems like two weak, unsuitable words compared to what I want to convey. But the tears flowed freely on my way home from the doc when I realized the support and love these babies have been getting from people they haven't even met yet! I will tell our little dudes how they were prayed here. I will tell them how many people were cheering for their health and safety.

By the way, did I mention I will be telling our two sons and one daughter all this? I wish everyone could have seen what I did when Chris found out he was having two boys and a girl. It will be in my mind forever!


Baby stats:
6 arms, 6 hands, 6 legs and 6 feet - all limbs look normal and healthy.
6 kidneys all appear to be functioning.
12 heart chambers all pumping hard and healthy.
3 bladders all full.
6 eyes, 3 lips, 3 noses (I swear baby a has his daddy's nose!).
2 little boy parts.
1 girl part.
Baby A : 11 ounces. (boy)
Baby B: 12 ounces. (boy)
Baby C: 13 ounces. (little girl weighing in the biggest!)
Mama and Papa: pleased as punch. Happy as clams. Tickled pink (and blue).

Thanks again everyone.

My Million Dollar Idea

You've heard of the "womb noises" CD for newborns, right? It supposedly mimics the heartbeat heard by baby in utero.

Well, wrap up your little bundle, place them in a gently rocking swing and let them fall asleep to "Digestion Sounds of Pregnancy."

I'm pretty sure my babies hear that way more often than they the 'whoosh, whoosh, whoosh' sound that we all think is prominent.

Gurgle....

Blurp...

Oogle Loogle Loo... bloop.

Ahh. That's nice. Good night.



PS - Babies are approx. size of a bell pepper. Red are my favorite.

Baby and Belly or Exponential Growth

Post worthy! Attention! Attention! New baby niece has arrived! She was a week early. 12 hours before she was born her mama said she felt like she could be pregnant for another month. (Wow.) Mom and dad checked in the hospital at 1:00 am and little baby girl came to join them 37 minutes later! She is beautiful and perfect and our growing family is getting larger and bounteous by the month. The only tinge of sadness is that she is 12 hours away in sunny California. Does anyone know of a molecular transporter module machine I can borrow? I promise I'll give it right back.


In other baby related news, I thought I would document my ever so growing belly. I am 4 months and 1 week (aka 17 weeks for you purists out there). I am amazed everyday at how large carrying three babies around makes your midsection. Seriously. If this was a singleton how far along would this belly really be? 8 months? No. I have no idea. Chris loves, loves, loves how big I am. He takes pictures every week. I'm sure one day it will be fun to look back and see the exponential growth.

Exponential. That is the word that keeps coming to mind when I think of all the new little ones that will joining our family. (Because there is one more besides ours still to come!) It is also the word of the day every time I catch a glimpse of my round, bulbous belly.


Both are really, really great.

So, What Have You Been Up To?

As mentioned in a previous post, we're living in the mountains right now. What I didn't make clear is where I am living. I'm back home. My hubby and I are mooching it up right now at ma and pa's. Since our return home from working in Connecticut, we've been on the look out and searching for a home to call our own. A home to raise a family in. A family of five! So, graciously and without guile, my parents said, "stay as long as you need to."

As generous as that offer is, we do feel a sense of urgency to get settled. (It's kind of hard to nest in a home that isn't yours, ya know?) So, we look and apply and make offers. It's a process. The good news, we aren't the only ones calling the Oakley homestead 'home.' My sister and her family are here too! Her family too is in a transition period and are patiently waiting for their new home to be built. Gainful employment is the reason we are both living back home a short while, not the other way around. Just in case anyone was worried.

It's been fun to be home. Especially with my sister and her kids. We even had an extra border here from California for two weeks! Yet another sister and her darling toddler. It was like the old days where multiple families and generations living together was the norm. It was a blast. We even canned peaches like they did in the old days - back in 1982. (Joking. We just aren't a canning family, so it was kind of a big deal.)

The nature of our life circumstances lately find me at home. No job, just home. It's a good thing actually. Because sometimes I wake up at 8:30 and am ready for a nap at 10:00 am. Just like my 18 month old niece. The only difference is I don't cry right before I lay down. (Much.) But I have been busy. You wouldn't believe all the things there is to do in a day in house full of little ones. My 4 year old nephew is busy all day long and sometimes I am lucky enough to be included in his to do list.

Like the other day there were a million clones in the the house. A million! Armed with light sabers and jacks, we got rid of a lot of them. Then there is Clifford alphabet bingo, Monopoly, (You think Monopoly is long with regular rules? Try playing by a 4 year old's rules!) and of course the occasional movie for quiet time. (My favorite.)

And while my sister is doing my dishes and changing the laundry for me, I try to be useful and make sure her little one isn't eating soap or trying to jump off the table. Most times she is in the pantry. In fact, when her little cousin from California was here, (they are the same age) that is where they spent most of their time. Pulling out cereal boxes and fruit snacks. Sometimes they would bring something to you if they really wanted it but couldn't quite figure out how to get the food out. But most times, it was a free for all of little toddler hands taking turns dipping into the cereal.

Watching those two together, I couldn't help but think, HOW AM I GOING TO KEEP UP WITH THREE?!? And these two are totally normal toddlers. Busy, crazy, happy, grumpy, going from morning til nap til dinner til night. Phew. But keep up I will. I have a little while before that stage. It's just one step at a time. And right now, the step is celebrating a successful first trimester and countdown to week 19 when we will find out what is cooking in there. 3 boys? (Yikes.) 3 girls? (Yikes.) Combo? (Okay, yikes, yikes.)

My 'yikes' are tongue in cheek of course. 'Yikes' is a general way to describe most days when I think of my expectations I have for myself as a mother of three at once. But, again, there is peace. So, I can't say 'yikes' too much. So bring on week 15. Bring on pantry raids. Bring on morning naps and clones and dear, dear sisters who take care of you (even though one of them is 8 months pregnant herself - love you Meg!).

It really is a charmed life.

Genesis 30:22

My heart is imperfect.

It also has the memory of an elephant. Sometimes it's a curse because I can remember every single heartache I've ever had about NOT being round and great with child. But most times, it resonates the healing that has happened. Somewhere along this journey, while still carrying around an empty womb, my heart was healed. All the cracks and fissures that happened because babies were being born all around me and none were mine - were sealed up.

I'm thankful for the memory of my tiny, hurt heart because it makes my new and improved heart that much better. It's stronger, larger and more capable of loving. It became calm and patient. My desperate pleas turned into quiet hopes. The babies being born all around me were wonderful and beautiful and I could hold them and smell them and be thankful that they joined us in this crazy life. It was okay that they weren't my babies. My once smaller, whole heart is now fuller with bulging stitches and cracks filled in with sacrificial cement from a loving Savior.

I'm so grateful for my new, stitched up heart fresh with scars and memory. Because I have a storm coming my way. A blessed, welcome storm. The way I see it, I will need three times the love. Three times the patience. Three times the gratitude. Three times the diapers! Our famine is over. Please pray for our little family. Pray that this new feast of blessings will continue to grow and thrive. We still have a long way to go until there will be sighs of real relief. But for now, I am calm. I am happy. I am blessed beyond what I deserve.

Isn't Chris going to be the best daddy?

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig

I can't explain why it stirs my soul when I see the mountains. Not just any mountains, my mountains. The Unitahs, the Wasatch Front. The great towering, majestic rocks that welcome me home, again. Emotions are on the tip of my heart. My eyes always get just a bit misty.

Because while I love traveling and seeing new places with my oh so adventurous husband, I always love coming back to the west that I call home.

We loved seeing family we don't see very often. We loved the seafood. We always love the ocean. So, thank you Connecticut for helping us pay our bills, I'm sure we'll back in your neck of the woods someday. But now, back to our mountain desert.

Speaking of mountain homes. Ours will be in the tops of the mountains for a little while. During our transition period, while we look for a permanent residence, 6500 feet. So feel free to come visit us. The leaves are starting to change. In a few weeks the trees will be brilliant.

Unanswered Question

There was a question asked in Sunday School a few days ago.


I don't remember the exact wording. I'll paraphrase, 'What do you do to keep your marriage strong and think of your spouse as your eternal companion?' Something like that.


Of course I thought about it. But there were much wiser, more experienced couples in that room and I wanted to hear what they had to say. And who really wants the girl who looks like she has been married for 3 minutes to raise her hand? Really.

But, I do have some kind of answer. I think. Or at least a few thoughts meandering on the subject of my marriage and love for my own eternal best friend. I thought of the last 4+ years that I have been married to Chris. I thought of our dating years. I thought of how our relationship has evolved and grown.


It's amazing what the differences are between now and then. Flowers and expensive dates and long phone messages were the norm. Every other week it seemed he had a new gift for me. We went to almost every fancy schmancy restaurant around. I was enamored and impressed. But don't worry, despite all the trappings, I still fell in love with just plain old him. Ok, bad choice of words, but you get it right? I knew I didn't need all the extra stuff. I completely loved him. So when he said, 'will you?' I said, 'yes.' Then 2 months later I said, 'I do.' Then a year later, I said 'I will - forever.' (Our history in four sentences.)


Now fast forward to now. Not as many fancy schmancy restaurants on a regular basis. Flowers, yes. But not as often. Gifts? Of course. But not every other week. But you know the amazing thing? Better, much better things have replaced those 'dating' tokens.


He makes the bed, even though we are 'just going to get right back in it tonight!' He encourges me to put my seat back on long drives and turns the music down so I can sleep in the car. He tells me I look like a 'masterpiece' on the way to church, even though I woke up 20 minutes before we needed to leave and am pretty sure I still had a big sleep line down the side of my cheek. He laid down on the ground one early morning and slept next to me when I was puking and didn't want to be too far away from the bathroom. I gain five pounds and he tells me he loves my new curves. I lose five pounds and he tells me he loves my new figure. Breakfast in bed happens on a regular basis. He calls me to tell me he downloaded a new song because it reminded him of me. When the answer is 'no thank you' when asked if I want to eat ice cream with him, he gets me a bowl still, because he knows I'll eat it and love it anyway. When we are walking side by side, reaching for my hand is second nature. There are more reasons. Some are too special to share in this medium. Those, I'll keep to myself.

How mushy! Gross. Sorry. But these were my thoughts as we were sitting by eachother that Sunday and I could feel his warm arm around my shoulder. I know he was thinking about us too because he gave me the slightest little squeeze and brought me in a little closer.

Squeezes vs flowers? Squeeze please! And only four years? Imagine 40 years from now. Can't wait!

Who Moved My Cheese?

If you are a regular reader of my blog, (I believe that would be two of you...) you know that this blog is about nothing really.  It has no theme, no consistent entries on the same topic.  Random.  So, if you will please indulge me on yet another random post about the inane thoughts that are rolling through my brain.

Here is my current head thread...

Brett?  What are you doing?  Seriously!!?!  When you came back last year, I thought, "Okay, that's fine.  So you want to give it one more shot.  I like the Jets.  That's okay.  I can still be your fan.  Even if you're not a Packer anymore.  I will still love your signature little jump when you connect with a receiver in the end zone.  Fine."

Then you retired.  Again.

And now?  2009 and you're playing for the Vikings?  The Minnesota Vikings?  Do you even remember your years with Green Bay?  Does the word 'rivalry' not compute in your vocabulary?  How about 'biggest rivalry' in football?  At least one of the biggest.  The cheese heads will tell you that anyway.  

You signed with the enemy.  It's not that I dislike the Vikings.  They're not my favorite...whatever, that's not the point!  I understand the need to be fulfilled and maybe you think you still have a few bombs in you, but COME ONE!  You already retired!  We sent you away with love and admiration... again! 

Sigh. 

 I don't know Favre.  You're making it really hard on a girl to be a fan.  The Vikings?  Remember when Schilling left Boston and went to the Yankees?  That was bad.  This might be worse.  My biggest fear is that you are going to be embarrassed by all the young hot shots out there.   So instead of going out on top, (like you did TWO years ago - let's face it, last year did not have your best shining moments...) your last few years might be riddled with interceptions and sacks and injuries and losses.  Wait, that already happened.  Actually, that happened at Green Bay.  Hmm.  Wait, are you trying to play for every team in the league?  Is this some sort of bet?  Is this a joke?  Are you cracking up every night that teams will still sign you?  Who will it be next year?  

Oh boy.  You know I'll still follow you.  You know I'll still keep up with how your team is doing.  I just might have a little less heartfelt cheers to give.  

We'll see.  Maybe you're trying to tell me that anything is possible.  

But seriously... THE VIKINGS?!  

Fine Times, Good Times, Fun Times, Times Square...

Such a lucky girl I am to have such fun sisters.  Seriously.  If you don't have a sister - go find one.  I could see if one of mine would be in your area to loan out for the day.  I promise you won't be disappointed.  Mine are just too great.  My youngest sister, the baby, the bambino girlie of our family came to the great NE. (Northeast, that is.)  She came for one last hurrah and "just us girls" inspired activities before she went off to college.  

Ok - quick digression... College?  Seriously Jenna?!  When did that happen?  Remember the year we moved to the mountains? (Probably not, you were 2!)  It had snowed so much that winter that our walkway was piled with enormous mounds of snow.  I still see your little two year old body, dwarfed by the snow stack, walking up and down that walk while you "helped" moved things in.  Your dolly.  Your blanket.  A random bowl mom would find for you.  Now you're going to a big university?  Where there will be boys (they better keep their distance those no good, lousy...oops, sorry --did I type that outloud?)and professors and dorms and no curfew and your old enough to do that legally?  Without written consent from mom?  What?  My little Jennaben.  It would be cliche and appropriate to say that it makes me feel old that you are off to your next big adventure.  But I won't say that.  I'm thrilled for you.  My excitement far exceeds the weight of the years it should put on my shoulders.   Anyway, back to your visit...

Newport - always amazing.  Even more super spectacular when we went together.  Eating chowdah and clam cakes and stuffies (I HEART stuffies) at Flo's with an ocean view off the balcony?  Pure clam shack heaven.  The beach?  Your sand mermaid was absolutely inspiring.  Even with her smooshed head that kind of sunk into the sand like she was lying on a really bad pillow.  Still awesome. (Sorry no pics of that.  Trust me, it was sweet.)  Thanks for making me feel like your old sister still has a little something something.  I don't think the guys in the tiny sports car would have said "hi ladies" in their 'we are the coolest dudes you will ever meet in Rhode Island - nay the world' tone if it were just me.  And maybe someday, on your way to become a marine biologist (after your whale riding course) you can write a research paper on why seagulls are so smart and people that leave their food out in the open and their towels unattended are so not smart.  Oh!  And our beach picnic!  Who knew a styrofoam cooler could carry so much joy and delicious treasures!  

How cool was the Rosecliff Mansion?  I loved that you felt the Great Gatsby's presence even before you knew it was filmed there.  Loved it.  We should've taken a real spin around that ballroom.  What's the worse they would've done?  Asked us to stop?  Next time.  In honor of all the horrific 70's socialite dresses that were on display upstairs, you can pretend this photo is from that era.  Even though 98% of those dresses made me throw up in my mouth a little, I think you would've looked quite stunning in six of them.  Yes, six.  The rest, blah!  That was a bad era for socialites.  I'll be continuing my daydreams on the lawn of the turn of the century Vanderbilt's summer home, thank you.   

New York! Broadway! Times Sqaure! The subway! Battery Park! Central Park! Manhattan Temple! Tolls! Traffic! Hot dog carts! Pretzel carts! In The Heights! Canal street! Crazy people! Illegal handbag selling! Disgusting parking garage bathrooms! That was one amazing day, wasn't it? Hot time in the big city.  I feel like we could have done 96 thousand more things! 

So, thank you!  Thank you for always having a good time no matter what we are doing.  Thanks for your adventurous spirit.  (So proud of you trying all the New England fare!  Loster, New England chowdah...)  I really am proud of the amazing young woman you have grown up to be.  I hope you'll forgive your overly sentimental sister and her "remember when" speeches every time you hit a major (or minor) milestone.  I truly am inspired by your integrity, grace, virtue, sense of adventure and gentle, happy spirit you bring with you everywhere you go.   

So go do your conquering and exploring and don't be afraid to put yourself out there.  In the spirit of broadway, remember, "those who don't try, never look foolish!"

(You and I both know it's the "foolish" looking ones who are having all the fun and adventures!)

(And keep not letting the boys kiss you!)

My New Layout

Just in case you want to read my blog from space. Is the font big enough for ya?

Worth a Thousand Words

I've been missing my ability to post pictures this summer.  I've been taking them.  But somehow, I ended up with a computer that does not want to cooperate with pictures.  If I was a super smart computer genius, I'm sure I would've figured something out.  But it turns out that I'm a little lazy when it comes to figuring out technical difficulties.  

When I get back to a picture friendly computer, I think I'll post just a bunch of random pictures that I have on there since JANUARY!  In the meantime, how about a recap of some goings on?  These aren't necessarily in chronological order.

1 - Imagine several pictures of some of the cutest kids you've seen in your life.  All siblings and cousins.  Two brothers with glasses and sometimes a look of sweetness - but most of the time, it seems they have something up their sleeve!  A little one year old girl (adorable of course) who has no problem keeping up with her big brothers.  And another little one year old with curly, blond locks.  He is the spitting image of his mom when she was his age.  Except he is SOLID.  I'm talking if you don't get out of his way when he is headed toward something, he could plow you over.  He has an amazing smile and SO much energy.  I hung out with this crew and their amazing parents for a law school graduation.  

2 - The beach!  Now we are at the beach.  Fun friends.  Fun family.  Nice day.  Wiffle ball game that lasted FOR - E - VER.  More days at the beach...

3 - Lobster Fest 09 at Grandpa Ray's.  Lots of lobster, lots of clams, lots of Portuguese sausage.  Lots of loud, fun family.  Lots of picture by Grandma Linda!  I think Chris' final lobster count was three.  I was a lightweight and only had one.  I loved watching the butter drip down his chin.  He was in lobster heaven.

4- Running.  And running.  And running.  Running for 33 hours straight.  Sometimes I was running.  Sometimes I was cheering on other runners.  And once, for two hours during those 33 hours, I was asleep.  Someday, I'm going to write in more detail about this race.  It has, so far, been one of the most amazing, physical accomplishments I've ever done.  Hugs and tears and lots of body glide jokes.  

5- Hanging with the fam in Utah.   Sunday comics, Sunday naps.  Giving Mindy a hard time about the Bacherolette.  Watching Michael be patient while said tv show was being watched.  Listening to McKay talk about EFY.  Jenna rocking the candy machine route with me. (I still can't believe you'd never been to Quiznos crazy girl!) Mom and Dad and their busy, busy lives!  

6- Walking with Chris in downtown Newport.  Stopping for ice cream and talking about the boat we are going to own one day.  The sweet new Red Sox hat he bought for me.

7- Red Sox - Yankees game!!  In Yankee stadium.  Being heckled by Yankees fans.  Martinez hitting a home run to bring the Sox up one.  Then, watching in dismay as Damon and Teixeira hit back to back home runs.  Disappointing.  But kind of fun to watch the stadium GO CRAZY.  I also snacked on a hot dog.  Ball park dogs.  Can't beat em.  Walking to the train amidst frenzied Yankees fans shouting, "SWEEP! SWEEP! SWEEP!"  Or "BOSTON SU-UCKS! BOSTON SU-UCKS!"  Don't worry, I rocked my pink, Pedroia jersey with pride.  Made a lot of instant friends in the form of other Boston fans.  Instant camaraderie among the rabid Yanks.  

8- Portland wedding.  Beautiful bride.  Doting groom.  Wedding guests crunching on ice during the 95 degree ceremony.

9- Oregon coast with fun Karen and her beautiful little girl. (Haylee, you made me so happy saying my name the whole time I was there!) Tillamook cheese factory.  Cheese samples. Can you say black pepper white cheddar? Or how about horseradish cheese?  Wow.  Blog stalking.  I feel like less of a weirdo when I do it with someone else.  Which reminds me, if you have a blog tracker - you should lose it.  It makes blog stalking very inconvenient! 

10- Boston Temple with hubby.  So beautiful.  I love to see the temple.  I love to go with Chris.  I can't think of when I'm happier than when we are there together.      

Hmmm, so not as great as looking at pictures of these events, but your imagination is probably so much better.

The Heat is....ON

I can't believe how long it's been. Weeks. Days. Sorry little blog. I do care about you, I've just been a little busy. Distracted. And hot. Sooo hot.

I'm in Portland right now. Happily here for a wedding that is going to go down in 2 days. I am not happy however about the 100 degree heat.

ONE HUNDRED DEGREES PEOPLE!

I have nothing creative to write about. Nothing witty to say. It's too hot to connect clever puns or put together a crafty alliteration. So hot. Wet wash cloths put in the freezer and lots of strawberry popsicles and finding excuses to drive around with the A/C on have been my coping strategies. (No a/c in house...ahhhh. Nice.)

I'm pretty sure part of my skin has melted off. This winter, when I'm uncontrollably shivering in the car, waiting for the heat to kick in, I'll think twice before I wish it was 100 degrees at that very second.

What I wouldn't give for a giant walk in freezer right now. Or a bubbling mountain stream going through the middle of the living room.

I'm melting.

I'm melting.

I'm melt

in g

I'll Show YOU Breaking Dawn

Okay, I understand most of the civilized world (who is the UNcivilized world anyway?) have already read this book and have given their opinion on it. But I felt I needed to share and publish my own meaningless thoughts on the subject. Of course I'm talking about the 4th book in the series that turns grown women into crazed Edward-lovers, wishing their husbands suddenly had sharper teeth and teenagers into people that will eventually become disappointed when they realize that there is no such thing as the perfect vampire... or man.


Several people in my life have already heard my opinion on the matter. So forgive me if you've heard this before. I read a comment from a friend on a previous post and it triggered me wanting to get my opinion out there. Published. Official. (I have no adorable pictures of kids or dogs, so opinions are what you get, sorry.)

Disclaimer - I probably will give away plot points. So, if you haven't read the book, keep not reading it. Okay, do what you want, read the book if you want. But stop reading this post if you don't want anything spoiled. Stop reading if you haven't relished every succulent, juicy, heat inducing, seductive word - down to the last stinking paragraph! (Sorry about the cynicism. Also, you may find quite a few apostrophes in this post.)

Okay, everyone warned? Anyone still reading? Enemies made already? Alrighty then!

Here we go:

I was entertained with the story. A human falling in love with a vampire. Throw a sworn enemy in there in the form of a wolf man and you've got some juicy story telling. That's why I made it through the first 3 books. I wasn't what you call a die hard fan since it took me about 10 months to read the last book after it had hit the shelves. Even then, it was reluctance because I knew the thickness. Something in me told me I couldn't handle nearly 700 pages of brooding and passion and danger and blah, blah, blah. So, I finally checked it out from my local library (there was still a waiting list, can you believe it?) and read it. In its entirety.

I am so disappointed in Ms. Meyer. Honestly. I cannot believe Bella got everything she ever wanted! Everything! Coming into this book, there were real and intense conflicts set up. So Bella wants to become a vampire. What about her human family? What were they going to tell them? What about never being able to have kids? What about Jacob? What about being a crazed new born vampire? What about the treaty being broken when the Cullens changed Bella and the wolves had no choice but to hunt and destroy them? So many conflicts! Bella had such a potential for loss! The drama, the emotion, the tapestry of it all!

But did she lose? Did one of those problems actually come to pass? NO! Every single one of them was conveniently solved in very strange, too convenient ways. She gets pregnant? Jacob imprints on her offspring? Her super power is controlling her newborn instincts and making a force field? Charlie just accepts that she is incredibly different bordering on inhuman? What? He's okay with that? He develops a 'don't ask, don't tell' policy? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

There was a chance with this last book to make real and lasting literary heroes. (Okay, maybe that is stretching it.) There was a chance in this last book to make real heroes. There could have been heart wrenching sacrifice. I could have loved the ending but mourned the loss of...SOMEONE! Seriously, I'm not morbid, but someone could have not survived! Isn't that real life? Isn't that what we relate to? Isn't that why we loved the story? Because there was something so human about the Cullens despite their immortality? On some level, as human readers, we could relate to them? However, Bella gets to somehow, with ease, keep every single person she loves in her life. I can't relate to that. In my short 29 years I have experienced loss. I bet I'll experience a lot more. Meanwhile, Bella and her perfect vampire husband with their perfect half-child (don't even get me started on the conveniences of growing old until you're a perfect, ideal age...and it only takes 7 years. Oh bruther!)live in their perfect little cottage with their mounds of money. And Bella didn't have to give up one thing she wanted. Not one.

I know what you're saying. "Oh, well, you're so smart! What don't you think of a better ending!" Okay, just off the top of my head...

What about Jacob realizing how much Bella truly loves Edward and sees that she is truly happy and somehow sacrifices his life to save hers or her daughter's from the Volturi. Or what if Alice left, but never came back because she somehow gave her own life in exchange for the life of little, perfect Renesmee? (I can't wait to look at the 2009 baby name list to see if that one makes it.) I feel like there is a scenario lurking around there that could have happened to make me feel SOMETHING! All I felt at the end was indifference and annoyance.

I feel like the masses were appeased. My guess is the revolt over a dying Jacob would have been greater than the revolt against "happily ever after...ALL OF THEM!" I guess millions were already made. So the idea that this book would sell no matter what explains a lot. It's just so disappointing.

Oh well. I'll leave you with two things that were missing.

1) Singing mice to clean their perfect cottage in the woods. Or seven tiny men working in a gold mine nearby. Take your pick.
2) Willy Wonka flying around in a glass elevator and asking Bella at the end, "You know what happened to the girl who suddenly got everything she ever wanted?"

We know. We know. She lived happily ever after. Ugh.